Adopting the self-made attitude.
You will notice something when you hear someone say they are self-made. The only instance in which someone uses this terminology is when they are referring to accomplishing something exceptional. You often hear the terminology self-made success. You never hear someone attach self-made to words such as average, adequate, or passable.
What I am getting at is we are all self-made… only the successful will admit it though.
Good or bad, we are all products of the choices we make. You can be proud or disappointed with the self that you have created.
I am not standing in an ivory tower when I say this. There is no one on this planet who doesn’t regret choices they have made. I have more regrets than I can count. There are many things I know I am falling short on in my personal and professional life. It’s not the regrets or mistakes that define someone though. It’s one’s ability to recognize and embrace their downfalls, learn from them, and make a conscious effort to grow.
I am also very aware that someone’s success can sometimes be predicated by their situation. Luck can oftentimes play a big factor in your success. You might have been at the right place at the right time when you got that promotion. You could have been born into a situation where you have a leg up financially because your parents worked hard to give you every advantage they could. There is nothing wrong with that at all. There will always be someone who has it better, but remember, there will always be millions of people who have it worse. The point is not to get fixated on what hand you were dealt, it’s to make the best of that hand. Even someone dealt a 2-7 offsuit can make a million dollars at the table if it is played right (a great poker analogy haha).
People who are successful are not invincible to the envy of others. I know we all have wished we were in someone else’s shoes. But there is a big difference between people who continue to grow and succeed versus people who are stuck in a rut of self-pity.
People with a self-made attitude do not wallow in their perceived disadvantages and do not get fixated on the perceived luck of others.
These people have no problem accepting that they are the creators of their own destiny. Even more importantly, they have no problem accepting responsibility when they fail. They welcome failure as an opportunity to learn, double down on their shortcomings, and grow.
How do you adopt the self-made attitude?
Decide to take action
Deciding to take action is not the hard part. We make these decisions every day. As you will see in the next steps, the follow through after the decision is the important part. Just as important though is critically evaluating what action needs to be taken. There is always somewhere we can improve no matter where we are in our life journey. As was a theme in my first blog post, I am a big advocate for constant self-evaluation. From self evaluation comes action items. From action item comes specific and obtainable goals.
1. Your goals must be specific and obtainable. In blog post number one I said action is predicated first on goals and aspirations. They also need to be updated and reevaluated. Write these down, keep a log, and be purposeful about making time in your schedule to visit these on a consistent basis
2. Prioritize your goals. If you are like me, you can think of hundreds of things you want to take action on. It can either be exciting or overwhelming. Maybe both. A great way I have found to categorize these is by timeline. I have goals that I know are short term and goals that are long and arduous. There many are other ways to prioritize these as well. It’s up to personal preference. The key here is to find a way decide on what you want to take action on now, and what can be tackled later. Trying to juggle too many things at once can be just as counterproductive as doing nothing at all. Don’t discard the goals that aren’t the top priority at the moment.
3. Keep a log of your accomplishments. Right next to your list of goals make sure to include your accomplishments. MAKE THEM BIG AND BOLD. This is not intended to be boastful, but you should be proud of what you have accomplished and the obstacles you have overcome. This part of the log if nothing else should serve as motivation that you are capable of anything you put your mind to and provide motivation later on.
Educate yourself and learn how
A well-prepared individual is one who educates themselves on everything they need to know about the task ahead before they commit.
1. Free information is everywhere. For example, if one of your goals is to become physically healthier there are probably at least two things you will need to educate yourself on. Ways to improve your diet and ways to improve your physical activity. This goes for anything you want to educate yourself on. You could probably Google what do I need to focus on to become healthier and get millions of hits. The great thing about this day in age is that free information is always readily available, you just have to take the time to find and evaluate it.
2. Learn from those who have climbed the mountain. I can almost guarantee that you know someone who has taken the journey you have decided to embark on. Nothing against blogs like mine, YouTube tutorials, and Ted Talks. They are great and should be utilized, but there is nothing better than firsthand experience from someone you know. We all have friends, colleagues and acquaintances that would love nothing more than to share information, you just need to ask them.
3. Education may create revaluation. Oftentimes, educating yourself on a topic will widen your perspective on the goal at hand. This may cause you to reevaluate how you prioritize this goal, or the timeline you have given yourself to accomplish it. There is always more than meets the eye on everything. Don’t let that discourage you. If anything, let that motivate you. If it were easy, everyone would do it right?
Commit
You have decided to take action and you have educated yourself on how to accomplish this goal. Now you must commit. This is the hardest part of the whole process in my opinion. It is only natural to have a fear of taking that first step. There are more times than I can count where I stopped myself at the commitment phase. Here are some great excuses we all know well. I don’t have enough time, it’s not the right time to start, I am too young/old, what will others think, what if I fail? I have used all of these excuses.
There are some sure-fire ways to force yourself into making that commitment.
1. Declare your commitment to others. If you let multiple people know what you are planning on doing, I guarantee that will keep you more accountable. You don’t want to have to face your spouse, your friend, or your colleague after you tell them you are planning on reaching a goal and give them a BS excuse as to why you quit. It is way better to try and to fail, then to quit.
2. Be intentional about making time for your commitment. We all are busy. Day to day life will get in the way of everything you try to accomplish if you let it. There is no way around it. To ensure you commit, you need to allocate time. This means you need to coordinate it with your spouse, kids, supervisor, etc. Put it in your calendar, set an alarm, do everything you can to ensure you do not let life get in the way of your goal. Also know that it probably wont be convenient. To start and complete my doctorate degree I had a 4:30 a.m. wake up call, 5 days a week, for four years. Between work, family life, and other responsibilities, this was the only time of my day where I could read, study, and complete assignments. If it is important enough to you, you will make the time.
Be consistent
Consistency is the key to anything hard. My mantra is one step at a time, one day at a time. I live by this. You will not see results right away. That is the hard part. You work hard, you stay committed, and the results usually don’t follow suit right away. Don’t get discouraged. Keep telling yourself, one step at a time, one day at a time. The results will come. You will reach that goal. Nothing worth aspiring for will ever be easy.
1. Remind yourself why you are doing what you are doing. Why have you started this journey? What or who are you doing this for? Write these down. Now put these reasons up somewhere where you will see them every day. I use sticky notes in my closet and on the dashboard of my vehicle. Every day I know I will see those sticky notes and it will remind me why I am doing what I am doing. That small motivation gives me that extra kick in the butt that I need.
2. Pull from your cookie jar. Being consistent is easier said than done. There are going to be many days where you are dragging yourself out of bed and your mind is playing every trick in the book. It won’t hurt to skip one day. You need the rest, you deserve it. The moment you let yourself slip is the moment your progress toward reaching your goal goes downhill. David Goggins is my go to when it comes to great analogies. His cookie jar analogy is spot on to combating the days where you have no motivation. Imagine a large jar into which you place all of your past accomplishments. The things you have achieved which you once believed would be too terrifying, too difficult, or too impossible. But you did them anyway. You transcended your own self-limiting belief. Those are the cookies you place in the jar. Then, when you are confronted by obstacles in your journey that feel too overwhelming, remember to go into your cookie jar and remove cookies of past accomplishments and draw from your past victories. They are placed there to remind you that you can do it.
