Finding common ground.
We are so divided….
This is what you hear about the state of our country. It’s left versus right, right versus wrong, good versus bad. To a certain extent I would say yes, right now many issues are very polarized, but that polarization is magnified by the news media. If their headlines don’t get clicks and views, they don’t get advertising dollars, and if they don’t get advertising dollars, then they don’t make money. So naturally, conflict and sensationalism is a great way to get those clicks and views. In addition, the faceless interactions of social media are a breeding ground for conflict. We are wired to pick up on social cues in a face to face context. It is a lot easier to be mean and condescending when you don’t have to see or be in the same room as the person you are interacting with.
But I don’t think that this polarization is a good representation of the majority of our country. I don’t buy in to the notion that we are so divided. I think the great majority of Americans, regardless of viewpoints and outlooks, are good people that want the same thing. The opportunity to live life however they so choose, create their own destiny, and love family and friends. Some people are obviously marginalized, alienated, down on their luck, and stuck in a cycle where they can’t achieve these ideals, but it doesn’t mean that they still don’t want these things.
No matter how different you may be from someone else, I can guarantee common ground can be found somewhere. In Wyoming, a great commonality for most people is the outdoors. Did you get your Elk this year? How was your camping trip? What flies are working on the Platte right now? This is an easy and very broad example of finding commonality but can be applied to just about any topic and in any context.
I think finding commonalities comes down to being willing to be okay with being in a space where people can hold different views than you. To be able to do that, there are a couple of strategies you can use.
Quantum thinking and empathy
In the critical thinking course I teach I talk about quantum thinking. The ability to be okay with holding two opposing views at one time. It is a lot harder than you would think. We live in a complex world where simple truths don't tell the whole story. Our default thinking doesn't like the psychological stress that we get when we hold contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values. Quantum thinking is not an exercise to get you to change your viewpoints. It’s just simply a way to be okay with entertaining the idea of viewpoints that don’t align with your own.
It starts with small steps.
Maybe subscribe to a newsletter from a political affiliation different from yours, and make a practice to take time to read one article a week from the other side of the isle.
Take someone from work that you don’t normally exchange pleasantries with to coffee.
Try an activity out of your comfort zone or go somewhere you wouldn’t normally go on a daily basis.
This expands your view of the world around you, enabling you not to just think for yourself but to think how your decisions will impact others.
I went in depth in a previous blog post in April about empathy that you can refer back to, but quantum thinking allows you to become more empathetic and helps you to avoid problems of tunnel vision. Empathy is the ability to understand the emotions, situations, thoughts, or attitudes of another person. For many, their automatic response when thinking of being empathetic is that it is a sign of weakness. This is not only wrong, but I would argue that showing empathy is a sign of inner strength and maturity.
