Can-do
As children, we all had big dreams. Most of us had no doubt that we would achieve greatness that only the top one percent of society sees. I personally was going to be a professional athlete. Other kids were going to be doctors, astronauts, fighter pilots, and the list goes on. Over time, those dreams slowly get beaten down. As you grow older you hear things like you are too slow, too short, not good enough in math, and your eyesight is bad. For many of us, those original dreams we had as kids morph into something a little more “realistic”.
Don’t get me wrong, just because we all didn’t become doctors, astronauts, fighter pilots, or professional athletes doesn’t mean we failed. That is far from the truth. There are so many crucial roles that we play in our professional and personal lives that have nothing to do with status or prestige. We are way more capable than our self-limiting beliefs and the point I am trying to get across is that along the way, if we are not careful, the cruelty of life will slowly chip away at our self-efficacy.
What is self-efficacy? It is the internal belief in our abilities to perform and the capacity to cope with the things that inevitably bring us down. In a nutshell, it is the can-do attitude. Having high self-efficacy means that we are not only able to make decisions but act on them. Having self-efficacy means believing that we will effectively manage the many challenges that arise because we have confidence in ourselves and our abilities. Albert Bandura of Stanford University developed the self-efficacy theory. His theory highlights how people’s levels of motivation and actions are based more on what they believe than what is effectively true. This can be good and bad in my opinion. If you believe in the worst parts of yourself, then your actions will follow that attitude. If you believe in the best parts of yourself then your actions will follow that attitude.
I think self-efficacy is something you are born with but has to be constantly worked on and re-affirmed. Life tears you down but you can build this can-do attitude back up and strengthen it over time. We can do this by constantly and intentionally putting ourselves in a position to be positively influenced.
Role models- Seek out those who you admire. Not just on LinkedIn. Reach out to that colleague that is making waves. If you don’t have anyone that you admire at work search somewhere else. Make a phone call and have a conversation. I am working on this right now. I have four phone calls lined up in the next two weeks with people that I admire. Two of these calls are because I reached out directly to these individuals and asked for some time to learn from their journey. The other two calls were from connections that other role models facilitated. It is a misconception that successful people don’t have time to share their secrets with others. Most people want to share knowledge, you just need to ask.
Let go of negative past experiences- There is a reason we ruminate on past mistakes. Research shows that humans often remember negative or traumatic experiences over positive ones. Our past experiences can affect our current mindset and our choices in how we interpret our lives. The past is a done deal. We can’t change it. Being stuck in the past is only hurting our potential in the present. This takes time and there is no reset button. Be kind with yourself if you slip up or find yourself reliving the negative parts of your past or reverting back to old behavior patterns.
Strive for mastery- I think the hallmark of a productive life is the pursuit of mastery. This does not mean you will ever be a master at something, that is not the point. The pursuit is what gives life meaning. What makes you feel better? When you are working hard toward a goal, or when you are sitting on your hands. We all know the answer to that question. You must be committed to lifelong learning. You must always be ready to take advantage of every opportunity to continually improve yourself and the work that you do. This involves patience, self-discipline, and self-sacrifice.
